Ok. This weekend my live in carer and aupair is going and my girls came back for a farewell weekend. Great to have them as I cant really look after them now.
Friday night and Saturday day went well, which I was really happy about. Because I am so apprehensive of how deep and troubled my eldest Isla is.
Isla, is very close to her mum and is a very deep soul who keeps all her feeling wrapped up inside. Although she is lovely she can be very dismissive to me and says some hurtful things. Such as calling me a liar even if I go to shops and cant get something she wanted. She has a lot of mixed up feelings and won’t talk about them to me. She also seems to have gathered together loads of comments that must come from over hearing her mum. Things that a 15 year old would never say.
Unfortunately, I have been letting them go as she will not let me say any corrections and jumps to her mums defence.
We had a good day today and had subway, played a boardgame and went to movies. Then big mistake was I agreed we could go to a restaurant for dinner with Issy. Unfortunately, it was hard for Iska to choose her dinner and she only ended up choosing some loaded fries. Then she started sulking and being mean to me. To prevent it turning horrible I left them to finish and met them all at the car.
On the way home I let Rio and told her how angry I was at the way she behaved. She shouted at me I was just horrible and always had more money than her mum. I snapped back that I only have my pension and me and my ex have the same. She just screamed I was a liar, didnt have any friends as I was too self absorbed and she hated me. ( before also telling me she loved me). She had a full on panic attack and when she started breathing properly went and shut herself in her room.
Just a nightmare.
She called her mum who turned up and persuaded her to open her door. Bloody hell she had taken a knife from the kitchen and cut her wrists.
Now her mum took her to hospital without saying a word to me. (She has been admitted and will need stitches).
No communication from her mum but a friend has told me. What the fuck!! How am I supposed to break through to my daughter. Neither of them can bear speaking about my health or seeing me in pain.
I am lost with this. I knew she was troubled but doing this. I cannot begin to know how to help here. What a bloody weekend.